This post is written for Blogadda’s What Men Want Contest
So BlogAdda announced the “What Men Want Contest” and immediately a light wave went over in my head, the topic sounds interesting. Perfect for a weekend sipping hot coffee and taking potshots, with a ‘no pun intended’!!
I sat down early Saturday morning, armed with mug of piping hot coffee and my laptop, cosied up in my pajamas, all ready to puke out my thoughts on Men in my life and what they want. I had barely typed out what the day was feeling like, after having the MAN come in from Pune late the previous night, that i realized that first 3 paragraphs of this post have been everything else apart from the topic in question!!!! So I decided to delete some of unnecessary stuff, yet I added to it than what I had deleted – more unnecessary stuff!! That is when I slowly began to realise that I probably need to rethink what I want to write. Pondering over my thoughts and glugging my coffee, the sleepy trooper, the MAN in question wearily walked out of the bedroom and laid himself over on the sofa. Brilliant, I said – he wants to sleep more!! Mixed feelings garnered, overjoyed with the happy realisation that I just had and piqued at the thought of shaking the ogre out of his slumber, a sudden flash it all came together what I would write – the thoughts would come straight out of the Man’s mouth.
So, I began with the interrogation – at least that is what the Man was feeling, with me poking questions at him like darts about weirdest of things. At one question, he almost spewed the tea all over me.
Relationships were without doubt the first agenda, not that it was explicitly mentioned by me, but somehow all the questions I asked, the MAN always had a doubt whether he had made some mistake, did something wrong or I was upset over something, the fact that I was simply interested in knowing more about his choices, his likes for a ‘just like that’ was not good enough reason for him, so my first conclusion,
Men want to know, whether they got it right or not – it could be either the dress they bought you fits your size or not, or whether they have answered questions to your liking or not, ignoring the fact whether what they said was the truth or not.They care enough, to go to the extent to even lie at times to avoid conflicts.
Further, I probed about what was our POA, what would MAN like to do today?? An extremely casual ‘Anything’ came from him. What was anything? A movie, a drive, a drink, a game, a swim, a shave, a haircut, a massage, a lunch, a dinner, a coffee – in my head a list was endless – but for him any one of these was desirable – this lead to my next observation
Almost all men dont want to take decisions, about little things in LIFE. The set of things to do for us women tends towards infinity, but Men are happy to fit within the limits as long as it brings continuity to their happiness and peace. Give them too much choice and they may displease you, if they dont give you a choice, you end up blaming them of forcing you! Its a double edge sword this choice game.
By now Man was sure, I was upto something, and he demanded to know, this time he didn’t stop at it when I said “Nothing”. At this time he brought out the fairness card, and blackmailed me into guilt on shedding some light on this man-o-theses I was attempting. Thus after an elaborate explanation of what I was doing, happened my next observation
Men want clarity, (yeah I know we almost don’t have a clue at times what that is), but they want to know the black from white within the grey. Now there is no guarantee whether they can figure that out, but hey now they asked for it right ….. The simpler you keep everything the easier it is…. mine is always wary if I am playing mind games to confuse him into giving into my demands 😛
After Man was convinced, that this session was not part of any mind games I was experimenting, he became more comfortable, and sort of started enjoying all questions I posed at him, actually this may also be due to the fact that he was well shaken up and woken up. But the humour garnished on his responses was quite tasty, naughty yes but not crass, so my verdict was
Men want women to almost behave like themselves emotionally, but be like women physically. Now now, dont get offended, get into the zone of Womens Lib movements, but think about it, how easy it would be if you could understand their need to abuse each other just for fun not mean it. Scratch around like a bear without being judged whether he came from Colaba or Koliwada. Belching and breaking wind, are the measures of how comfortable they are with you, they are not JUST bad habits but also part of personal space they are willing to share with you. Better out than in – remember Shrek
Finally, we got ready and got along doing regular chores of the weekend, we went out and the discussion continued. So we touched a little bit on friends, toys, family, food, women, fashion and clothes, movies (his favorite), books etc. Observations on each of them
- Men don’t want friends to be judged – yeda hai par mera dost hai attitude recently taken over by “Bros before Whoever else”, the infamous Barney quote.
- Men want expensive toys, most of which are utterly useless, Star Wars light sabre, cause daddy could not afford it when I was little. To my surprise he agreed.
- Men are biologically programmed to stare at women. Cmon we all know that when we step out all decked up, we want someone to look at us secretly. This auto stare function comes in handy then, only sometimes malicious virus attacks on the auto – program makes the subject behave erratic and process has to be bitch slapped!!!
- Variety is not the spice of life when it comes to clothes, fashion sense is 360 degrees opposite as most men will be comfortable repeating their most handsome apparels as many times as possible as opposed to women. Comfort means more than couture to them!!
- Pornography and sports can be discussed with equal enthusiasm, there are un-thought of similarities amongst the two which are beyond the scope of this post.
- Men like women who can fill their guts well, the way to man’s wallet and credit card too is via his stomach.They deeply respect women who can hold her beers and whisky. Red alert, red alert – This is the time they like to talk hehehe.
- who says they don’s like shopping, of course when it is for themselves they don’t seem to complain, but when they shop for you, they want you to justify costs sometimes.
- Cute teddy bears, puppies, kittens, little babies and your MAN, cannot be “AWWWed” by the same degree, this increases competition and size, shape, number of limbs, age are not factors MEN consider when competing for your attention. Spoiler alert – Teddy Bears are not cute – ALL THE TIME. (that’s what he said)
So after a stomachful conversation over chaat, MAN finally had enough, he was in mode of some serious talking when he said this
Men like to think of themselves as PROVIDERS, they want to make sure that whatever they are doing, everyone dependent on them gets what they want. So your grand father gives you ADVICE, your father gives you SECURITY, your husband gives you a HOME, your brother gives you some harmless TROUBLE and your son gives you a new PERSPECTIVE to life.
All in all, they way I would like to sum up is,
they want to be grown up when they want to impress you
they want to be lovers and gently caress you
they get into fist fights, when they want to be boys
they will go shopping with you for 18+ year old toys 😛
they will make more of a mess, than they will cook food
You will see it in their eyes, when you are looking good
when they act like brats, you will have to play mommy
You will have to improvise to fill that bottomless tummy
They want a lioness with furry sheep coat
They are all a bit jello, with daughters to dote
They are tough on the outside, for the world and to protect you
I know I am sharing here, most of what you already knew ……..
They may want to watch movies, with machines and guns
But the sight of a cockroach and miles away they can run 🙂
They will bleed for your smile, they will kill to protect you
They wants nothing short of, the best of all for you!!
They will forget some of the BIG things, but not to kiss you good night
They may not say SORRY, but they will try to make it right.
They wants you to SMILE, more than anything else that may MATTER
They may have given you the BEST, but they want to make that even BETTER.
Amongst all the jest and humour, I sincerely do hope, you all want a specimen like mine in your lives too.
If we know it too damn well what MEN would want, there would be no fun left exploring them. I am still peeling off the onion layers over my MAN and seem to be unraveling a surprise, hope you have as much fun too ….[PS – the above observations, were strictly made based on subject availability on weekend, other specimens may or may not behave accordingly, show signs of rebel, tantrums and casual flirting are not covered under this topic. Master control override is disabled in presence of Familial objects :D. Female patrons are duely noted, after all it only matters WHAT WOMEN WANT.]